Story Rewrite

I found this exercise very interesting. It was a nice change in the class and I enjoyed the different plots in the stories. I didn't realize that all of us starting with the same first sentence could go in so many directions. When I got mine back I did not expect my story to take such a turn. It was pretty comical at the end. It was also crazy how just one single person could change up the story so much.

My first story:

She stood at the edge of a precipice, between one moment and the next. Debating which way to jump. Each direction holding a new place to start over. Starting over a whole new life, somewhere to find out the truth in the world. A choice between dark fairs, an endless field, or a world not yet discovered. Too easily she is tempted by a world she doesn't know. Heh, and you thought this was going to be about a pasty, depressed teenage girl who falls in love with another pasty teenager, didn't you? Scared to take a leap of any kind, she turns away from the unknown and goes back to the safe known. It was a Winchester padlock safe that she had named "known." She unlocked it with that trusty combination and removed her rifle, long and cold, and placed it in the  back of her shaking throat. Her lifeless body falling until it tumbled straight down the precipice.

I revised the story and this is what I came up with:

She stood at the edge of a precipice between one moment and the next. Debating which way to jump. Each direction holding a new place to start over. Starting over with a new whole life, one where she could find the truth that she had been searching for. A choice between the safe route and the unknown. The second one tempting her to walk into the mists. Wondering what the unknown has in store for her if she decided to take that first step. Deciding that she is done living on the safe route, her first step into the unknown is exciting. Two more steps and all of a sudden her footing is broken and she's tumbling to her doom.


I changed my first story into something more serious. Even though there are some sentences that I kept, such as the first three sentences. I changed the rest to become more gloomy and sort of dark, maybe something that a person might actually be able to relate too. Choosing a route or path to take their life down. Sometimes not making the right decision but learning from the mistakes.